Seeing Ghosts

Yesterday, when I stoppped at my favorite hometown grocery store I saw a ghost.

Now, before you get scared and stop shopping there, let me assure you that this ghost was living and breathing. He was just a ghost from my past. My ghost (who shall remain nameless) has haunted my life for years. And quite frankly, when I turned that corner and saw him, I almost turned right around and walked out. But, putting on my brave face and telling my churning stomach to act right, I walked right on in like a big girl. Shoot, I even managed to have a some-what normal conversation with the ghost. And considering that the last time I spoke to this ghost, we were not on friendly terms, I think that's pretty good.

We all carry ghosts around with us. Every person we meet along the way becomes a "ghost" to us in some way or the other. We carry with us the way they make us feel, the memories we make together, and even the way we feel about them. Sometimes, those ghosts are friendly ones, like Casper, who whisper comfort to us from our memories. Sometimes, they haunt us because of the bad decisions and pain that surrounds our memories of them. The thing is, you never really get rid of them. There's a residue that you can't (or at least I can't) just vaccuum out of your life.

This particular ghost is one that it took a verrrry looonng time to lay to rest. And the impact that he had on my life was extremely hard for me to sort through and face. Not only did I have to accept responsibility for what I did, but really look at him with the rose colored glasses off and accept what he was. All I know for sure is that it took a lot of prayer and time to heal all that drama. Prayer not just for me, but for the ghost as well. In fact, I still pray for this ghost, because, while I am in no way remotely interested in resurrecting his place in my life, I still hope deep down that he can change. And, honestly, when you really love someone, you will always want what's best for them.

When I got into the car, I felt a peace about the whole thing. I had faced the ghost. And facing the ghost made me realize how much God loves and helps us when we ask him to. Which is why, today, I'm feeling just a little bit less haunted!