Seeing Ghosts

Yesterday, when I stoppped at my favorite hometown grocery store I saw a ghost.

Now, before you get scared and stop shopping there, let me assure you that this ghost was living and breathing. He was just a ghost from my past. My ghost (who shall remain nameless) has haunted my life for years. And quite frankly, when I turned that corner and saw him, I almost turned right around and walked out. But, putting on my brave face and telling my churning stomach to act right, I walked right on in like a big girl. Shoot, I even managed to have a some-what normal conversation with the ghost. And considering that the last time I spoke to this ghost, we were not on friendly terms, I think that's pretty good.

We all carry ghosts around with us. Every person we meet along the way becomes a "ghost" to us in some way or the other. We carry with us the way they make us feel, the memories we make together, and even the way we feel about them. Sometimes, those ghosts are friendly ones, like Casper, who whisper comfort to us from our memories. Sometimes, they haunt us because of the bad decisions and pain that surrounds our memories of them. The thing is, you never really get rid of them. There's a residue that you can't (or at least I can't) just vaccuum out of your life.

This particular ghost is one that it took a verrrry looonng time to lay to rest. And the impact that he had on my life was extremely hard for me to sort through and face. Not only did I have to accept responsibility for what I did, but really look at him with the rose colored glasses off and accept what he was. All I know for sure is that it took a lot of prayer and time to heal all that drama. Prayer not just for me, but for the ghost as well. In fact, I still pray for this ghost, because, while I am in no way remotely interested in resurrecting his place in my life, I still hope deep down that he can change. And, honestly, when you really love someone, you will always want what's best for them.

When I got into the car, I felt a peace about the whole thing. I had faced the ghost. And facing the ghost made me realize how much God loves and helps us when we ask him to. Which is why, today, I'm feeling just a little bit less haunted!

Reporting on Week One

It is now the 9th day of February, and I can successfully report that the No-Eating-Out challenge is right on track. As I reported before, I did give myself just enough wiggle room to handle the weekend trips that are impossible to avoid and the late night at work, but I can report that I have survived the last week no worse for wear. Actually, my wallet and waistline are probably a little better off than they were a week ago.

On the cooking front... I have been eating at home, but not really cooking meals... lots of chicken salad sandwiches and salads. I have broken out the crock pot and have cooked chicken and stew beef which have found thier way into multiple meals.

I almost had a break-down on Monday, as I found myself trying to figure out what in the world to take for lunch... luckily, Lacee and Hailey pulled their weight for the lunch-bunch and provided a satisfying meal of spaghetti and "cracky pudding" (dessert which consists of pudding, graham crackers and chocolate icing)

On a totally other note... During the middle of one of my classes today, Dallas ran in holding his thumb, which was bleeding! Luckily, he just sliced the tip off instead of cutting off the bone... but still... talk about causing a comotion! After getting it cleaned out and bandaged up, he showed back up around lunch time to the delight of all his students who wanted to see his "war-wound"! Thank goodness it wasn't bad!

Wishing Life Away

When I rolled over this morning to check the alarm clock beside my bed I thought to myself, "Ugh, I don't want to get up... why can't it be the weekend?" And just as quickly, I though of the words to that old country song "Driving my life away."

If you're anything like me, you're probably just as guilty of "wishing time away". On Monday, you can't wait for Friday to get here. In August, you can't wait for Christmas break to arrive. We set our mind on making it to a certain date or event and get so focused on that point that we forget to savor all the small moments along the way.

As I groggily headed to the shower to get ready for work, I reminded myself about Matthew 6:34 which warns us about worrying about tomorrow instead of focusing on today because each day has it's own problems without adding tomorrow's to it. And just like each day has its own troubles, each day has its own joys. If we wish away our lives, aren't we wishing away all the small wonders around us as well!

I've hit a super-reflective point in my life... I am nearing a milestone that I'm not too sure I'm happy about. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy to be alive, and I while I have very few regrets about the life I have lived so far, I do sometimes wish I could get back a few of those moments that just seem to have flown away so quickly.

As I drove in to work this morning, I said outloud in my car (yes, I do talk to myself sometimes) "This is the day that the Lord hath made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." And for me, that means not wishing the hours away, but enjoying the moments that make each day special and unique!

A little late... My Resolution and my Challenge...

Ok... so I haven't been writing anything lately, but I have definately been reading... so...

Even though it's into February and my christmas tree is still up ( I know... the shame of it... I really did start taking stuff off of it the week after Christmas) And even though I didn't share my resolutions, I did make one big one. Yep... just one... unfortunately that one is a really tall order. I know I've got you wondering what could be that all encompassing so... here it is.

I AM RESOLVED TO BE HEALTHIER.

Yep... that's it... really simple right? If only... everytime I say it, I cringe... because when I say it to myself, I hear all the individual things I need to work on. Not just do I need to excercise more, eat less and take better care of my body. I also mean to be spiritually healthier... you know, more focused on what really matters, and keep my priorities in line and feed my soul (aka study and pray). And probably the scariest of all, which is what is really nagging at me these days, I am determined to be financially healtheir by this time next year.

Quite a big order! What if I fail?

I have been trying really hard to do little things that will hopefully help me keep my resolution and feel like I am making some small progress. For example:

* I have started walking instead of driving short distances ( Like from my house to mom's or my classroom to the lunchrooom)

* I have almost completely given up Sweet Tea... (GASP) I know... As a southern girl, this is about sacrilege... and it's not really about not wanting sweet tea as much as reducing the amount of sugar I'm consuming. (Which also means I have also quit drinking almost all the soda I was drinking...)

* The girls in our ladies Bible study group at church are doing an awesome job challenging me to stretch my mind about spiritual things

And the latest Challenge to myself... which I am really scared to actually post because then if I fail, you will all know. But I also feel like posting this will give me some accountability.

As a single person, it's hard to want to cook real meals for one... or at least I have a hard time with this and I hate eating frozen dinners. And don't get me started on how easy it is with the hours I work to end up eating out three meals a day (Average cost of $20/day). This really bad habit that I am afraid is going to derail my entire effort for the year. So... For the month of February I have challenged myself to not eat out (with special emphasis on the work week) and to cook more meals at home. My former roommate/quasi-brother Eric has been helping me with the second part as he has been providing a second mouth to feed when I cook which makes it easier to come up with something. So far... (all three days of the month) I have managed to keep going.

Now I know some of you might think this a little unattainable as a goal, but being the "highly trained" educator that I am(note I am making a joke), I have given myself a little wiggle room so as to make it actually attainable. For example: Saturdays are an exception because unfortunately I will be working/traveling the first two Saturdays of the month and the likely hood that I would pack breakfast and lunch on those days is miniscule. And since my main focus is cutting out spending on breakfast and lunch, I have also given myself a dinner pass for nights when my job require me to work beyond 6pm. (fair I think)

So... hopefully in about a week, I can give you a successful update on how I'm progressing... What I do know is that my grocery list has already gotten longer!

This and That...

Thought I'd share a few pictures/happenings from the break/second half of the month! Not much excitement, but it is a little bit fun!

Austin & Bayley decided that they needed to play Little Red Riding Hood (Such Imagination) while waiting for grandma to get home from work the day after we got done with school... so... Bayley found my red fluffy robe that we managed to fashion into a hood and cape.... notice the "wolf" at her feet...

And we had to figure out a costume from "Grandma" to wear in the bed... so...

voila! We have a scarry blond wig, ruffled pillowcase, Aunt Daye's glasses, and... I think it worked pretty good... just needed a flannel gown, but I'm not quite sure I could have gotten him to go for that!

During our Tea-party trip, Aunt Jane sent us back a gingerbread house kit to build, so... behold the masterpiece!

After being harassed about the construction, I think we've decided that we need to let my brother build his own next year... anyone got any good recipes or a mold?

And finally, Miss Priss has discovered what an awesome back yard she has to play in! I have finally found something the kids like better than Lucy, but it's only at their house, so they are still fighting over who gets to hold her... the poor dog isn't loved at all! In addition to exploring outside, she had developed quite an attachment to a few of her toys... especially Mr. Bear! She can be found hauling him around just as much as she chews on him... too bad he's bigger than her!

I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and that God Blesses you and yours with a happy, healthy 2010!

They Ain't Right!

One of my favorite comedians has always been Bill Cosby. Not only is he one of the funniest people ever, most of his humor is something that the whole family can enjoy! One of the things I loved to watch of his was the show "Kids Say the Darndest Things" but these days, we've got all the entertainment we need in the back seat of the car.

Picture this... 4 hours in the car with Austin & Bayley. Here's just a few snippets of the conversation... (Most of the entertainment came from Austin)

Mom: "Why didn't you eat your hamburger?"
Austin: "Acause I don't like ham"
Mom: "well, it's not ham."
Austin: "well, I don't like burger either"

During a stop to get gas and change drivers... I looked in the back window and had to open the door to make sure I saw what I thought I saw... Austin in the back seat in his underwear...
Me: "Austin, did you take your pants off?"
Austin: "I got hot..."
Moments later...
Austin: (Answering the cell phone while I'm pumping gas and mom's paying) "Hey Aunt Jane, we're at the jas station... you know, getting gas.
And as I related this conversation to Mom...
"Aunt Daye, I know it's a GAS station" (very deliberately saying it right)


Austin " I can't wait to get to Aunt Jane's house, so I can sit in her "sazJING " chair and get a "sazje". (Note, for those who don't speak Austin-ese... this is a massage chair)

And Last but definately not least, after we announced that we were about 10 minutes from Aunt Jane's house and still on the interstate...

Austin: "Bayley, lets look for signs that say Aunt Jane's House, you look on your side and I'll look on mine!"

I'm sure that these are some of those "funnier if you were there" moments but at the end of a stressful week, I have to admit that towards the end, I was driving down I-75 laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes!

They just ain't right... but I sure do love-em!!!

Birthday Party

For some crazy reason, my brother and sil decided to have both of their kids between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Add this into an already hectic schedule and birthday parties become something of a scheduling issue. My Aunt Jane scheduled our holiday tea for the weekend before Bayley's birthday and the Christmas parade was the weekend after Austin's.

Mom and I were trying to figure out how in the world we were going to fit it all in when she came up with the plan to have a party at my house the night of the Christmas parade for both of their birthdays! Amazingly, both kids went for the idea since this plan let them go with us to the tea party and they love going to Aunt Jane's. In addition, they each got to have their own cake and family party.

Austin's Family Party... complete with trick candles!

So... we scheduled Bayley & Austin's Hotdog Roast! Unfortunately, the weather made having a fire outside rather difficult (windy and wet), so we grilled them inside and after busting the elmo pinata and playing hopscotch, we settled down inside to have some fun. Bayley got to have her friend Sidney spend the night and Austin went home with Sidney's brother, Austin. (I know, I know... kinda hard to keep straight) Just thought I'd post a few pictures of their party... and the slumber party that followed for the girls!

Mrs Marti brought Floam... I was so excited! (NOT)

Lucy, Sidney & Bayley with the contents of the "Fancy Hat Boxes"


Add some dresses and you've got some pretty ladies!